The Road Less Travelled - A Journey in Obedience
Delphne Tan is a new member of the AG Staff and Mentor Team. In June 2021, she came on board the Awaken Generation team as a full-time staff member. You might have heard her on our AG Podcast, Worship Conversations. In this blog, she shares with us her journey of learning obedience, drawing encouragement from Exodus 3 - 12.
I’m in a four-wheel-drive on an endless road, and then the car turns. The road comes to an end, but the car keeps moving. As it moves forward, the road appears under the wheels.
No, I’m not an off-roading enthusiast but this was a picture my pastor released during our usual Tuesday morning prayer in an upper room on a quiet street in Camden, London. My time in this season of healing was nearly up.
Healed from anxiety and depression which plagued me from my unhealthy relationships with work and church, I felt like a new person. God rekindled excitement for the dreams I once carried but buried. Most importantly, I became certain I wanted to serve the Lord full-time.
But the year was fast approaching an end. All I knew was that I would return to the job I had before. What if I fell back into those old patterns of behaviour again? I wanted to go into full-time ministry but where? When? How? It seemed ridiculous to have such a dream.
When Rich released that word, I felt a wave of profound peace. I knew in my spirit I need not worry, or try to make things happen. Even though I couldn’t see the road ahead, I merely needed to keep moving forward, and the road would appear under me. Most importantly, the Lord showed me I was not driving this car. He was behind the wheels, so I just needed to buckle up, hang on tight, and watch him do his thing.
Easier said than done though. Especially when we are trained to check the car, plan our trips with maps, keep the navigation on, drive only on designated roads, follow the road signs. To give up control and let the Lord drive was a real struggle.
In this season of journeying off the beaten path, the Exodus narrative encouraged me deeply.
Moses received the instruction from God to lead His people out into the wilderness, to “land of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites.” (Exodus 3:17). Seems simple enough.
But, how? How was he going to lead the multitude of Israelites out of Egypt into the wilderness towards the land of Canaan? Where do they go? Even without the resistance and aggression of Pharaoh, that alone sounded like an impossible feat.
Moses utterly depended on the Lord for direction and the promised deliverance.
Each time, he would bring his fears, concerns and questions to the Lord, and God would instruct him. Whether to throw the staff on the ground and pick it up again, or strike the staff into the river, or stretch his arms with his staff over the waters of the land, God gave him a clear step to take so that His purposes may ultimately be fulfilled. Moses simply obeyed.
After a few such conversations, Moses did not question God any longer. He understood how this worked – he sought God, God gave direction, he simply had to obey. Moses was not responsible for the outcome of the deliverance of the Israelites. God was. But Moses was responsible for his obedience - to obey and go, even if the instructions did not make sense.
The simplicity of this is comforting. The vision God placed on our hearts may be so huge or impossible, but He never abandons us to figure it all out on our own. Like Moses, with humility, we just have to keep returning to Him. When we seek to do His will, we are not responsible for the outcome, but our response of obedience. Would we go where He leads, say what He wants us to, even do things that may seem foolish?
Moses did not let the lack of understanding stop him from going all in.
“Our livestock also must go with us; not a hoof shall be left behind, for we must take of them to serve the Lord our God, and we do not know with what we must serve the Lord until we arrive there.” (Exodus 10:26)
It strikes me that Moses didn’t have a clue what happened after the people left Egypt. He only knew God wanted to bring His people out to worship Him and be His people. Again and again, Pharaoh brought enticing compromises but Moses’ answer was “all or we’ll keep at this.” Perhaps, if only the men had gone, or maybe just the people without their belongings, the people of Israel would never have been able to completely start afresh with God.
When God calls, we don’t need to know detailed plans but trust Him to give us the right instructions at the right time for His purposes in our lives to be accomplished. But we have to be all in.
I want to come to a place of fully trusting the Driver of my life. I want to trust Him enough to put everything I own, believe and understand, in the car on this journey with Him. Like Moses and the Israelites, there are moments I do not know what I will serve God with until I have arrived in that season, so I must have all of me constantly ready to give.
Now, before we pack up our lives and jump into reckless decisions, let’s lean in to the Father behind the steering wheel of this entire universe, and ask “Lord, where are you leading me in this season? Help me to obey your leading fully.”
Learning obedience
Since coming back to Singapore, I have experienced extraordinary provision and connection as I re-learned how to let God lead me. I left my job, but all loosely held plans fell through with the start of Singapore’s Covid-19 lockdown. Despite the situation being rationally confusing, I was learning simple, faithful obedience. When God placed a step in front of me, I stepped. Slowly, like Moses, I stopped questioning and doubting the directions, but simply obeyed.
In June 2021, through one miraculous connection and provision after another, I started as a full-time missionary at Awaken Generation, more than a year after making that crazy step to leave everything I’ve known about my career and vocation.
The steps have not been easy to take, but thankfully, obedience and trust in God can be grown and cultivated. There is freedom in simple obedience. It takes away the burden of responsibility for how things turn out and gives space for God to do His miraculous work we so often pray for but leave no space for in our desperate tight-fisted control of life.
Moses obeyed, despite his confusion and insecurities, and partnered with God for arguably the most miraculous and defining moments of biblical history. How marvellous that we get to experience that too.
Perhaps you’re thinking you aren’t looking for dramatic adventures, or that your call is not quite as weighty as Moses. But, all of us are invited to walk with God, and any journey with Him is an off-road adventure, radical in the culture and context we live in.
Would you give up the steering wheel to your loving Father and let Him lead you on adventures of a lifetime?